wow i can't believe it's another week of uni gone by. another week of lectures, labs, tests etc....another week of flatting life
on tues, i kinda nearly burned my flat i think...it's a really long story. but it nearly happened when i was trying 2 cook fried bee hoon. n ya. the wok caught flame..like fire fire. n i was like woah...quickly took it n put it in the sink n poured water onto it. hmmm...n ya it settled? but ya. later on my flat mate told me that i shudn't out water on oil that is on fire...it'll b worse? n she was like luckily u weren't burnt.. in my heart i was like "ok..so i nearly got burnt..n it was a narrow escape.? but later that nite, i tot that wow. God actually took care of me. even tho i can't see it but just thinking of that dangerous situation just now and my whole flat filled with smoke. ya..tho it's hard 2 think that God was there looking after me...but i know that He did and tho hard 2 think of a invinsible person looking after u. but ya i'm sure it was by His protection tat me n my flat was unharmed.
wed nite..had the mentor training programme for peer support. n it was really awesome cos we had poppa's pizza!! soo yum...n choc cake!! yum..i couln't resist the temptation so ya..gave in to temptation.. sob sob...training was quite useful. it made me realise that there r so many prob that students face n we can b unaware of prob out there. alcoholic prob, STD's, depression, unplanned pregnancies, anorexic...counselling.. n it made me realise again that this world we live in is soo not perfect. n i'm longing once again to go to the perfect world with no pain.
Later on i went back to my flat and went n find sharon cos i wanted to ask her to go watch a movie which DCBC is gonna watch."end of the spear". a true story n an inspiring courageous story. n we just ended up talking n sharing for like more than an hour ..n another fren of ours who's got a prob with her back. n 2 cut it short, the prob is soo serious that she had could have lost function of her lower limbs n not walk. but the fact that she hasn't lost function of her legs n she still has sensation on her legs means that it's a miracle!! i just tot that this is another demonstration of God's power in the midst of circumstances. He has preserved the function of her legs which in normal case would have been ya..damaged. ya..i'm thankful n i'm just praying that she'll b able 2 receive treatment asap. n tat in the meantime btwn the treatment that she'll still b ok.
thurs nite: went 2 beeteng's homegroup. n ya..sharing of songs/psalms. yep great time. tho most ppl there r working ppl/phd /master's students. i feel quite comfortable with them. i dunno y..mayb cos i'm getting old n seeking the wisdom of mature ppl? haha..
fri nite: OCF. had marmite/veggiemite tasting. n some games 2 get 2 know ppl. n nick shared bit on hebrews chapter 10: 32-34. n he got us to think bout: what makes ppl happy? n ya..it's things like ppl want 2 b cared for, to be loved etc. n can ppl be happy if we lost everything? not everything but things we care bout, things we value. like ppl. n we got to the conclusion that the things that makes us happy r the things which can b lost.
Heb 10: 32-34.
Remember those earlier days, after you had received the light, when you kept going in a hard struggle with suffering. sometimes you were publicly insulted and persecuted:at other times you stood side by side with those who were treated that way. You stood by those in prison and JOYFULLY accepted your property being taken away, becoz u knew tht u yourselves had a better possesion, one that lasts.
So ya. it got us thinking bout the olden ppl. how can the be joyful when everything is taken from them?? the important stuff they love and care bout? the ans is simple: bcoz they knew that they had something better that can't be taken away. no matter what. it'll alwayz remain with them. n that is the personal relationship with Jesus.
it is challeging definitely. n christians r maybe even more susceptible to pain and suffering. being a christian doesn't mean life is hunky dory. n ya. it's defnitely stg for me to think about. that God has to b above all. better than my studies. rite now. studies n God r like no1 in my life. hehe...but ya. it's gotta b God 1st. n ya that things i value n love here r not gonna last 4eva. they can b taken away. like grades, movies..drama..health..
1st time reading that passage..n it's good..
n i'm gonna try worship next week! aiks! lyv is gonna play the guitar while i sing.. i'm so scared cos this is my 1st time. but it's God that counts not how i lead. pray for me....scared scared..but i'm sure it;s gonna turn out fine in the end. as long as i try, God is in control n that's good enuff.
there was 21 ppl in the otago room. n it seemed like a big crowd! usually we have like slightly over 10 ppl, n mostly m'sians! but 2nite! awesome....more guys definitely. n diversity. ppl from germany, US, paris..korea.. zimbabwe..london..kiwi, japan, myanmar..so many diverse ppl..n ya it's soo great 2 c that overseas christian fellowship is indeed really overseas. n hehehe...the choc game, the name game. It was funny seeing ppl putting on gumboots n struggling to remmeber ppl's names. the quiz..the testimony.. great nite i tot. tho at the start we have some hiccups like we alwayz do. but hopefully it was the company of ppl n the sense of community in Christ that was felt by ppl. even tho some were non-christians. n there was a non-christian guy who actually came back after international dinner without sharon texting him to remind him. ahha so great! n after that we stayed n talk outside till bout 11pm. thank God it wasn't really cold!! n thank God the interview went all rite! i was soo scared that i was gonna say the wrong words n can't say wat i wanna say properly. tho i think that i could have said more about God and less on church stuff. ppl still said it went all rite. thank God! n a girl expressed interest in the discovering Jesus bible study. awesome :) hopefully ppl will wanna learn more about Jesus in the coming weeks as u know..we go into bible study n stuff.. ok gotta keep praying for them. gotta keep remembering that they r all precious to God and that He rejoices so much when a lost person goes back to Him.
N on thursday when i went to manna christian bookshop. I was like wowed by the books there. i just wanted 2 sit down n read those books. i'm alwayz like that. i get all hyped up when i c lot's of christian books. n the amount of stuff u can learn from those books. but i can never settle down to finish reading it...yyy???
n hmm. the bible study with bee teng's homegroup on thurs nite. yep really nice. it was on luke 15 which i led a bible study in ocf last year. so i kinda knew wat it was about. but there was this guy from bangladesh who's a muslim and he has never read the bible before ever. n it was real interesting bcoz his view point was totally diffrent from ours. n it was really hard trying to explain our viewpoint to him bcoz he might feel that all of us r ganged up against him. He saw the person who went to find the lost sheep, lost coin as a sinner who goes after desires? n when that person found that it is not good then he returns to society? all of us saw that the person seeking the lost stuff was God. but ya..really hard trying 2 explain. heaps of ppl tried tho. just pray that he'll c the light someday, i just can't understand how can he not c that the person in the parable is God?? i dun know./..but it was a lesson to learn that not everybody sees things we do..
n ya...sharing time..it's soo hard cos everybody is soo stressed with work n stuff. me too..i wish somehow we were somewhere else where it is stress free..
n recently so many ppl i know r diagnosed with problems with health...n with me studying diseases..it's really hard. 2day we had a session on autism. The children who r soooo cute have some neurological disorders that if not intervene early can lead to them not talking n interacting with people. n the pain that parents have to go thru,..the effort..the money. it's painful. it's like a wake up call again that this world is far from perfect. n it makes u wanna go somewhere like heaven where is suffering-free place. It makes me realise tat i am soo blessed to be kinda free from serious diseases. n hopefully i can b a blessing to other ppl as well..
my flat: hmm..seems better(hopefully). thank God for pppl who have listened..n for the flat meeting we had. i just pray that i will have more tolerance n patience...
oh ya..n last nite i was having this realy scary nightmare. i dreamt that my dad was having a gun and he wanted to kill us, his family. it was soo scary..i dunno y i even dreamt that but i remember previously i have dreamt of my family members going to kill each other? scary....*shudders*
n ya..i do wish that we can just drop all responsibilities and have fellowship with ppl and have bible study!! wishing wishing...but it won't happen...
n i do wish that i have the time to study the bible with ppl who have expressed interest in it. it'll b good 2 get to the basics of who Jesus is and what He said and done. but i dun have time....................................................yyyyyyy..i have test almost every week and reading n prep work 2 do. with ocg on fri nite...occasional meeting on wed nite...bible study on thurs nite..kinda full on. i can't slack of as well. not after last year's experience.
this is bad..i'm feeling withdrawn n i dun wanna tok or c anybody..which is bad. my head feels heavy..n i dun wanna think of wats on my list of 2 do list..n i wanna just grab someone n cry.
the ppl above our flat has already got their stuff organised. n my flat? boxes still everywhere. i dunno......n it's the 2nd week of uni. i tot it would b fun living outside. but it so has not met my expectations. n food?? actually i like buying my own stuff n not sharing...ok it's hard. i prob survive better on my own. on my own island or stg. n just waste away not doing anything. the guys would rather play warcraft then unpack? i think i mostly feel this way bcoz my flat is in a disheveled state than the upstairs flat. n i really wanna shift upstairs now. n my room dun really get much sun n it's too big.
i miss the time when i dun have 2 cook. dun have 2 worry bout food. dun have 2 worry bout anything basically...i miss the warm room. i hate my cold room which is colder than outside. it's too big.... n doesn't get much sun..
i'm dun wanna have flat meeting n discuss bout responsibilities. bout cooking. bout sharng bills. bout money. n again. power bills r going up. that sux...
i dun wanna do work..neuroanatomy is soo hard. i dun get 95% of wat;s going on.
i think last week...when it was cold n freezing..there's this feeling of loneliness n just a feeling i wanna go back home. away from all this..
n i think it hasn't helped at all when i haven't had my quiet time at all ever since i reached dun
last week...18-22. was a crazy week ay. i was just running all over the place n no time 2 sort my messy room n flat. it was just classes..planning stuff.
but at least my 1st attempt at fried bee hoon didn't go horribley wrong! thanx God for that!! even tho i put too much pepper n it was overcooked. but at least ppl tell me it's still edible so i'm happy! really thank God for HId provision..n for bringing ppl 2 help me cut the vege n stuff. my flatmate aya n upstairs jason. n sharon who even tho was exhausted stiil was there. just having ppl's presence arnd doesnt make u feel soo alone at least.
N God has brought ppl 2 cook some food for me sometimes when i'm not eating n stuff. ya...soo He does provide....
i miss unicol!! just feel like begging the master to take me in to the wam place again!!I think i'm having unicol sickness.its as bad as home sickness...
n i'm soo tired.....wanna sleep...
but sharon said have 2 look forward to this year! tho it's gonna b a hard experience this year. diff n more responsibilities...it shud b ok...I'm sure God will have plans for all of us 2 grow more in Him.
gosh i'm so slow. i just realised 2day that faith without deeds r useless. how can u prove that u have faith? how do u show faith? showing ur faith is by doing deeds/action. faith=action. x faith= x action. rite. i'm slow..but at least i know now...
if it's wrong or if anybody has any other insights( siqin/jane/hocmun hehe)..pls share wif me..thnx :)
i dunno wat 2 say. all i know is i'm feeling...upset, confused, disappointed with ppl.
i hate money. i hate it when bosses r soo stingy n hard up on money that they won't increase their workers salary. i hate it when bosses treat their workers like dirt. i ahte it when money makes ppl lose their heart. i hate it when bosses dun appreciate the work their workers have done. i hate it when ppl r such hypocrites that they puton a show outside that they r so compassionate n loving n caring n donate hundreds 2 charity homes but won't even increase their workers salary even when they r paid below average.. even when they know increasing it will help them lead better lives n not scrap by. i hate it when i'm helpless 2 help...not having the capability 2 help, 2 change things.
i have all the why ques in my head. why God allows these things 2 happen. why suffering? why pain? why doesn't He do anything about them? He can stop it. but why won't He?a few days ago i was asking. but an author said that there r some things that God won't ans us. "God reserves the right to keep His reasons to Himself." This is the teaching from Deuteronomy 29:29 which says, "The secret things belong to the Lord." God gives us all that we need to know in His Word for living this life, but He keeps back that which we do not need to resolve in this life, Now we must battle, though as victors. Now we must suffer, though as those who will be forever comforted. Now we must have pain, though as those who will forever be healed. Now we must have trial and tribulation, though in eternity we will have bliss forevermore. Why God ordained things to happen exactly in this fashion is like asking why God had to send Jesus to the cross. Why did God decide that the death of a perfect sacrifice covers sins of other people? It makes sense, but something about it is too wonderful, too powerful, and too big to get our minds around. We would do well to believe as children, to have faith that is the evidence of things hoped for and the conviction of things not seen (Hebrews 11:1). We should walk by faith rather than by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7) when it comes to issues that God has chosen not to answer. When we are in trials, and all of us will one day face the ultimate trial as death closes in on us no matter how easy our lives have been, we must not ask God why. Rather, we ought to say, "This is the day which the LORD has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it" (Psalm 118:24). This day I will choose to believe, to love, to live, to worship, and to obey. I will choose to love my God and to believe He loves me. I will choose to hope in heaven and my inheritance to come. I will go along with Paul and say, "For me to live is Christ and to die is gain" (Philippians 1:21). (Brent Barnett)
May I chose to believe, to bow down and to worship Him. even in the most distressing circumstances. To believe that He loves us and that He is good. It is hard...but with God by my side...all shud b ok..n when i go home one day. He will tell me why this things happen.
i thank God for for allowing me 2 go 2 thomas's church 2day. It was great. The worship time with ppl who loves God. It was awesome worshipping with them, prasing God, singing of His love. Listening 2 pastor as he expounded God's word. saying hi 2 stranger's. really miss the whole church environment. ya..so really thank God for thomas, for a fren whom i can go to his church. even tho it's the 1st n the last time. An elder in church approched thomas 2 teach english 2 form 1&2 kids in church. Pray that he will pray bout this calling n make the rite decision.
Somehow recently.. it's been coming 2 me. this msg of God's holiness, how we r suppose 2 b holy, just as He is holy...n that we have 2 b obedient 2 Him, listen 2 Him, not 2 keep on sinning, not 2 be resistant 2 Him n His command, not 2 harden our heats 2 Him, to keep loving HIm..n if i keep on sinning...it's like oil n water concept. I dun think i'll b able 2 walk close 2 God then. Cos He's holy. Holy n sin...oil n water. my own thoughts la. weird huh? so ya...must really pray that I'll walk in the Spirit n not in the ways of the flesh. Lord,pls give me strength...2 be obedient to U..n only U.
yest, i met an old fren of mine whom i haven't met in 7 years. i really wanted 2 share with him the good news of Christ. but i dunno...doens't seem 2 have the opening topic there..like i did give some hints bout curreinvolving in OCF n stuff..but he didn't ask more so i didn't push it further. i just wanna pray for him that he'll stop smoking! n for him 2 b focus on his studies, find his purpose in life..find joy..n find God one day..gosh i'm so worried for him. it's soo bad for him. cos his whole gang smokes. so the peer pressure 2 smoke is great. i'm just afraid he'll get addicted 2 it. then it'll b hard 2 quit.
currently working as stock take(stock counting)??watever la. bit boring..but i'll do 2 the best of my ability.
after 2 years or more of none blogging. i think i wanna start blogging again. dunno y. prob is bcoz i'm at home now n finding stuff 2 do? hehee. but more importantly i wanna keep an account of what God is doing in my life. i realise as i approach 2008 that when i wanted 2 review 2007, i find that i can't really remember all that has passed. I know there r things that happened...esp this year, sad things. n things i know God has helped me n i'm thankful for but i can't remmber the details. So ya, as i start the new year i wanna write so tat i can remember wat i promised 2 God i will do n under wat atmosphere it happened. n my struggles 2 keep walking close 2 Him will b apparent as i am alwayz ermm...sidetracked..
Currently my quiet time is teaching me that the christian life is a journey. A journey of transformation. The transformation journey to be like His son is slow. But we must be patient as it is in this slow journey that God's grace to us is revealed to us and we become mature. There r times where i hangat hangat wanna b holy n do all the things mature chistians do."micrawave christians" apparently. who wants everything to happemn in a few minutes rather then the slow approach. i am one of those la. haha. malunya...
I pray that i'll b focused on Him. On the hope that is in Jesus. N not b distracted by the material world.
Ever since veronica passed away. I became more conscious of life. The reality that life is really short just hit me*bang* head on. THere r times when i thought i was gonna die. Like just suddenly. One time my dad did not c the red light n he went straight ahead. our whole family nearly crashed. I really thank God for protecting us that night. Or nights when my dad just forgot to close the gate n he left the gate open for 2 hours. Or the time when i'm coming back from taiwan n the aircraft was experiencing a big turbulence. i really thought i'm a gonner.. At that point i have been neglecting God for like 2 months. N i feel i'm soaked in sin. I couldn't face my holy God then. then i quickly prayed 2 God 2 ask Him 2 save us n spare us cos i'm such a sinner n i'mnot ready 2 face Him yet. SoAsking Him 2 give me another chance 2 repent n 2 follow Him again. n ya...i'm still here. after a million chances given.
My eyes..thank God for sight. thank God that my eyes r still all right. thank God for health. N when i've disappointed Him over n over again. I've this tendency 2 b really hooked on dramas. N once i'm hooked i'll just go 2 class n won't wanna do anything else. It's so bad it;s like i'm on drugs or stg. Until i dun wanna go 2 church, dun read the bible, stop praying, n just becoming soo far from Him. soo bad..but ya, I'm still able 2 say sorry n go back 2 Him. This is really grace n mercy of God. The undeserved favour towards sinners like me. that everytime we ask for forgiveness we will b forgiven. bcoz Jesus has already paid the price for us. He has given His life for us. Died a painful death on the cross for us, for me. I can'r imagine anybody on earth would actually die for a sinner. n JEsus died for the past ppl, the present ppl n the future ppl. How awesome is that?! the gift of eternal salvation right at our doorstep. It just depends on us whether we want to pick it up n accept it into our lives. We will never live up to God's perfect standards of holiness or good works. i know i can't. Can u? Therefore He has taken this step to reach out to us becoz we can never reach Him on our own effort. No matter wat good deeds we do. Becoz we still sin.
1 JOhn 3:1-2
BEhold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we shud b called children of God. Therefore, the world does not know us, becoz it did not know Him. BEloved, now we are children of God; it has not yet been revealed what we shall be. but we know that when He is revealed we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is.
Imagine! I am a child of God! To the most high God in the universe. How awesome can that get! He is my Father. n I am His child. Like siqin said, as a Father who loves His children, He will discipline us bcoz He loves us. It is never nice 2 b disciplined. I know cos i have been disciplined by my earthly parents. n i soo do not like it. but i know they do it bcoz they love me. n like a Father He delights in giving us good gifts. If our earthyly father knows how 2 give us good gifts. How much more will our Father in heaven give us if we asks of HIm?( of course it can't b a bad gift we r asking).
ok i dun know why i wrote so much. but ya..i'm just expressing what i feel hehe...
i really love the song by avalon. I want it to really claim me.
just some simple new year's wish: 2 walk in this transformational road n to not b distracted by signs on either side of tha road that flashes attractive advertisments which will cause me 2 stop, look n pause for a long time. Even if i do, pray that i do not stop for too long to admire it but 2 get back on the road again. Keep it simple by being devoted 2 Jesus n 2 learn more bout Him, HIs grace, His love, His mercy, the truth. In JEsus's presence is joy. So y am i looking for things outside Him?
I grew up in Sunday school I memorized the Golden Rule And how Jesus came to set the sinner free I know the story inside out I can tell you all about The path that led Him up to Calvary But ask me why He loves me And I don't know what to say But I'll never be the same Because He changed my life when He became...
chorus Everything to me He's more than a story More than words on a page of history He's the air that I breathe The water I thirst for And the ground beneath my feet He's everything, everything to me
We're living in uncertain times And more and more I find that I'm aware Of just how fragile life can be I want to tell the world I found A love that turned my life around They need to know that they can taste and see Now every day I'm praying Just to give my heart away I want to live for Jesus So that someone else might see that He is...
(repeat chorus)
And looking back over my life at the end I'll go to meet You saying You've been You're everything to me You're more than a story More than words on a page of history You're everything to me You're more than a story More than words on a page of history You're the air that I breathe The water I thirst for And the ground beneath my feet You're everything Lord, You're everything to me
